


Seeing Is Believing

by PegasusAngel



Category: The Walking Dead & Related Fandoms, The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: F/M, Fluffy reader, Major Character Injury, Negan (Walking Dead) Swears, Negan (Walking Dead) is an automatic warning, Possessive Negan (Walking Dead), Reader-Insert, fat reader, reader wears glasses
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-11
Updated: 2018-02-17
Packaged: 2019-03-03 09:59:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13338840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PegasusAngel/pseuds/PegasusAngel
Summary: You (reader) are wandering the dystopian future alone, fighting the dead with a sword and your signature attitude. You'd think being severely near sighted and the world as you know it ending would cause a bigger problem than it had. One day you run into a large herd and take refuge in an untouched town. You're awoken to sounds of people and your glasses are nowhere to be found.Somehow you end up essentially blind, glasses broken beyond repair, in the grip of a man who is obnoxiously self assured and leader of a large "safe" community. You're given no option but to join this community and either work for points to survive and eat or become 'one of the wives'.Reader insert where reader is large (fat) and very near sighted. Reader will end up with Negan, so smut is assured.I wondered what it would be like to be so disadvantaged in the end of the world and it shocked me I hadn't tripped over a fic that had experimented with this yet.





	1. The meeting

**Author's Note:**

> And now for something completely different! 
> 
> Seriously though, if you're following me and wondering why I'm not updating my other fics it's because life is really sucking right now. Death in the family and relationship issues are weighing down on me hard and distraction is the best. A few of my other fics touch a little too close to home or allow me to dip too far into my depression so they've been slow going.

I never believed something this horrific would actually happen. The dead rising and consuming the living? This was the kind of shit I avoided in movies and TV shows. No one was meant to fight off a herd of walking dead with nothing but a steak knife and a crowbar, destroying neighbors and family in an attempt to escape to some place that was safe. Safe. No such thing existed anymore. Gone were the days of humans acting civilized and helping each other. Not only did you have to watch for the dead roaming every inch of this useless planet, you also had to watch out for the living. Stealing. Kidnapping. Murdering. Raping. These were common actions in the current world. What's worse is that many people accepted them as normal. As if it were the only way to make it through the apocalypse. I sighed, shaking my head in a bid to remove my useless rant from my head. I needed to pay attention to my surroundings. I had been on my own for who knows how long. I tried a group setting once, and quickly decided that encountering the dead was far less worrisome than the living.

 

 

The dead didn't lie. They didn't cheat. You knew what they were after immediately. It was easier to deal with the almost constant brutal violence that came with wandering alone than trying to navigate the social norms now in place. I gritted my teeth as the sound of groaning filtered through the trees. _Here we go again_ I thought to myself as I unsheathed my sword from its scabbard. I chuckled at the ridiculousness of my situation, standing in the forest brandishing a sword as is it were a totally normal occurrence. Now that the dead roamed, I guess it was. I had no idea what most people used to protect themselves. Guns worked but usually caused more issues than they solved. Combat up close and personal with the creatures was very unpleasant. The sound of their teeth snapping together in an attempt at tearing your flesh from your bones coupled with the stench was something that took me a long time to handle. At least I no longer vomited after every encounter. Getting used to the constant up and down of my adrenaline had taken some time and had left me very hungry for almost two weeks.

 

 

I hefted my backpack nervously as I tracked the sound of the dead moving through the forest. Certainly more than one but I hoped it wasn't a whole herd. I was notoriously clumsy and running full tilt in the woods seemed like a great way to break something. The sound of branches crunching rang out and the groaning grew louder. They were becoming more agitated. Obviously scenting fresh meat, specifically me, and it was driving them into a frenzy. The first walker I saw sent me into a calm I had grown used to. Calculating how far it was away from me and how fast I could dispatch it were my first thoughts before I moved towards it. The closer I came, the more walkers I saw. My nerve was failing and with the growing number of walkers heading my way I knew my only option was to turn tail and run. I swung my sword, decapitating three walkers in quick succession then turned on my heel and bolted. I leapt over roots and fallen trunks in my bid to freedom. I tried to go back exactly the way I came, knowing that area was cleared for the most part, but the paths all looked the same from this speed.

 

 

When I finally burst through the tree line I was near the outskirts of a small town. My brain warred with itself, my only two options were complete shit and I knew it instantly. On one hand I could try to fight off the herd behind me, I knew they were there and could plan an attack. On the other hand I could try to seek shelter in the unknown town. It could be completely clear or it would be infested with the dead, leaving me worse off than I was now. My mind whirled with my options, struggling to choose one. With the groaning slowly becoming louder behind me I decided to take my chances in the small downtown core in front of me. I couldn't see any biters walking around so maybe it was the better option. My feet moved quickly over the abandons streets, a few cars still left in the middle of the road where panicking people had left them. I scanned the buildings, silently assessing them for easiest fortification. I settled on an old liquor store, the front only containing a few small windows and what looked to be a second story. Usually I preferred to stay on ground level only, but with this herd coming a higher vantage point might be the best choice. Before I realised it I was holding onto the handle of the front door and turning it slowly, in case there were any further occupants stumbling around inside. I closed the door as quietly as possible and listened for activity.

 

 

I checked the store front along with the storage room and the manager’s office, dispatching two poor bastards still in their work uniforms and then set about trying to find a way to secure the windows. When I could find no wood or plywood I decided to venture upstairs. My luck was definitely improving. The upstairs was an old apartment and did not contain any walking nightmares. Then bed was musty but cleanly made with what appeared to be made with what were fresh sheets at the time. My heart soared at the prospect of sleeping in a real bed instead of the ground outside or concrete floor of an abandoned warehouse. As quietly as possible I made my way to the door and locked it, pushing a heavy chest of drawers to bolster it in the unlikely event that a walker managed to stumble up the stairs. With a sigh I sheathed my sword and removed my heavy backpack into the small dining room table. I dug into my bag and removed a few pieces of food and a bottle of water I had been nursing for a few days. I needed supplies badly and my body was starting to protest it's meager rations.

 

 

After eating I moved towards the windows to monitor the herd. They had made it half way down the street before branching off after losing my scent. I hadn’t heard any glass break downstairs so I decided to risk darting downstairs to grab a bottle of alcohol. The trip was great and surprisingly rewarding. The store was practically full and the storeroom had at least one full shipment of alcohol too. What a score! This kind of find could pay off in trades easily. If I took my time I’m sure I could pick off those walkers slowly until they were all gone. I wondered what else was here, maybe a grocery store that hadn’t bed looted yet? I'd have to wait until morning to go looking but the idea had me feeling surprisingly chipper, though that very well could have been the Grey Goose I was holding to my chest. After locking and barricading myself in again I sat on the bed and smiled as I took the first sip of alcohol in who knows how long.

 

 

Normally I would never drink, the risk of being caught unawares always haunting me. Today, however, was the eve of a very awful day. One I couldn't wait to forget in my alcohol and sleep off on the cloud I was sat upon. I held the bottle up as if to make a toast, silently honouring every single loved one I had lost, and laid back on the bed. I let my mind wander to my family and friends before this happened. Some I knew were dead, some by my hand after they had turned, and others I hoped were safe somewhere. Normally I didn't allow myself to look back at those I loved, the sadness that accompanied my memories was soul crushing. However with my trusty vodka I allowed my mind to wander.

 

 

I don't remember when exactly when I fell asleep, passed out might be a more appropriate term, but the sound of shattering glass brought me from my blissful sleep. My fear skyrocketed when I opened my eyes and everything was blurry. Fuck! My glasses! Where are they?! My breath came in pants as I fumbled with my sword and scabbard to attach it to my hip and tuck my gun into its holster on the opposite hip. The actions were so ingrained in my muscle memory that my loss of vision didn't hinder me in the slightest. I cast my useless gaze around the apartment, looking for the fuzzy outline of my backpack. I grumbled and got down on my hands and knees, searching for my glasses in a frantic haste. I was fairly certain that no biters could get past my barrier but there was always the chance that a fresh one had caught my scent, or worse yet a band of people had come across my previously undiscovered town.

 

 

My hands flailed underneath the bed in an attempt to make contact with my glasses. When I couldn't find them there I knelt and began digging through the covers and sheets. I could hear my heart pounding in my ears, my fear spiking my adrenaline to a level it hadn’t been to since my first few encounters with the dead. Then I heard it, the sound I feared most. Voices and the sound of boots on the stairs. I froze, stuck between the desire to find my glasses and stand against the people or hiding in an attempt to buy more time. The sounds of someone throwing their weight against the weak door sent my feet moving. Before I knew it I had grabbed my backpack and stumbled my way into the closet, hiding behind some boxes in the hopes they weren't interested in some old dresses and shoes. The banging had stopped, I realized, and hoped it wasn't because they had heard me. When the sounds renewed it was clear there were two people breaking down the door. Their synchronized jolts against the door timed by one man's count.

 

 

Soon the door splintered, but from the sounds of it the chest of drawers was giving them some issues. I stifled a laugh at the cursing coming from one of the guys. The mouth on that guy could make a sailor blush! My humour evaporated quickly as I heard heavy boot steps echo through the little apartment. They combed through the living room and kitchen for what seemed like forever. My breathing sounded deafening, my heart beating out of my chest. When they entered the bedroom my whole body froze. “I could have sworn I heard sounds up here. Haven't seen any biters yet, though.” One man said to which another grunted. “Can you believe this little town hasn't been touched yet? We really scored here! Bet we're gonna have a celebration, eh boss?” Just then the sound of a glass bottle skidding across the floor silenced the men. Immediately there was the sound of guns being drawn and suffocating silence.

 

 

My breathing sped as I heard boots approach the closet while another pair moved out of the room. The closet door creaked open slowly and a gruff voice ordered “Get the fuck out of here nice and slow and I might not shoot you” My eyes widened, surely he couldn't see me. My view hadn’t changed, only a very fuzzy outline of the beige boxes. There was no way he could see me. The man checking the rest of the apartment came in, reporting that he found nothing. I ground my teeth together, knowing I was caught meant I really only had one option. I grumbled softly to myself, silently damning my own idiocy as I stood and slowly exited the closet. I held my hands in the air as I tried to skirt around the two rather large blobs in my vision. “Alright, I'm not here to cause any problems. Just got trapped here by a herd of walkers and spent the night. I'll leave and you can have all the loot” I replied, doing my best not to squint and give away the fact that I was essentially blind. The man laughed then, there was a slightly unhinged edge to it that sent shivers of fear down my spine. “Well holy shit! What do we have here? A medieval warrior? Of course I can have all the loot. It's my land, darling. Now, what's a pretty little thing like you doing on your own?” The gruff, low voice asked. I shrugged, what could I say? “Just trying to survive like everyone else, I guess” I responded nonchalantly. There was a low grunt, I could only assume he was agreeing with my sentiment. “What's your name, doll?” he rumbled as he stepped closer. Instinctively I stepped backwards, my mind racing as I tried to think of an answer. I had learned quickly that giving the same name could lead to trouble if you had to leave a group fast. What name should I give him? Not my given name, that one had too much trouble attached to it. Names raced through my head and I rejected all of them almost immediately due to either having used it already or having known someone with the name that I hated. “Come on, doll. You've gotta have a name” he purred from only a few feet away from me.

 

 

I shook myself from my daze, in my frantic attempts to rename myself on the fly I allowed my defenses to drop and he had snuck closer. “Rose” came my voice, surprising even me “My name is Rose.” The man smiled then, at least I think it was a smile. He was close enough now that I could see a flash of white on his face, and I hoped it was a positive sign. “Nice to meet you darling. Name's Negan. I've got a little community not far from here. It's safe and secure.” I cut him off immediately “No offense, Negan but I'd rather not. I'm better off on my own. If you'll let me grab the rest of my stuff I'll be out of here in a few minutes.” With that I attempted to skirt around the Hulk of a man in front of me. I moved towards the bed, hoping to make the bed and find my glasses to slip them into my pocket. I'm pretty sure the man behind me was checking out my ass for a few seconds before snapping into action because I had gotten the sheets into my hands and was attempting to make the bed when I was grabbed from behind and pulled away from the bed.

 

 

I screamed, fighting his hold and refusing to let go of the sheet. I went deadly still as I heard my glasses clatter to the floor. “Simon, check the bed for weapons!” Negan growled and forced me onto my knees and held me there. “Stay on your knees unless you want to meet Lucille up close and personal” he growled in my ear and suddenly there was a baseball bat in my face, the tip glistened with some sort of metal. I leaned towards it and regretted my curiosity quickly as I saw the barbed wire caked with blood and bits of flesh, from walkers I hoped, and I felt the blood drain from my face. “It's clear, sir. No weapons in this bed.”

 

 

“Come get her bag and go through it. See what kind of treasures The Sanctuary is getting” Negan commanded as he pulled the backpack from my shoulders. He tossed it onto the ground for Simon and stood from his place behind me. I sighed with relief when his baseball bat of horrors was removed from my line of sight. The sound of my glasses under Simon’s boot echoed through the small apartment, followed by my unintelligible scream of utter horror. Fuck! What the fuck am I supposed to do now?! I scrambled from my knelt position, pried Simon’s boot from the floor, and cradled my glasses in my hands. I had hope at first that I could fix them, maybe some tape or a few tools and they'd do the job. I held them to my face, probably a hilariously small distance to those watching around me, and my hopes crumbled quickly. The frames were bent irreparably, one lense was shattered and the other was missing completely, though the bleeding from my hands told me it was probably in tiny pieces across the floor. Silence prevailed for five long seconds before Negan began laughing. Uproarious, belly holding laughter that made my blood boil. I was essentially walker chum and this guy thought it was fucking funny. I growled, pushing myself from my sitting position and drew my sword, pointing it in his direction. “I fail to see how any of this is even remotely fucking funny” I snarled, my knuckles white from the tight grip on my sword.

 

 

I watched his blob-like form stumble backwards, followed by the sounds of boots all around the apartment. Negan's half heated chuckles were soft, as if he was trying to stifle his amusement but failing miserably. “If I were you, I’d put the weapon down” Simon spoke only inches from my ear. “Is a blind woman really that much of a threat to you? I probably couldn't even hit a walker if it were a foot in front of me.” A growl sounded from right in front of me and it startled me “When she's holding a goddamn sword, a blind woman is _definitely_ a threat. Fuck! You could have accidentally hurt yourself or me! Wouldn't want to have to punish you so soon after finding you. The first one’s free, but threaten me again and you will be punished.” Negan snarled.

 

 

My sword was removed from my grip, a man holding my arms behind me by my elbows. They searched me thoroughly, stealing my gun and double checking to make sure they didn't miss anything. My captor reeked, his foul hot breath fanned over my cheek as I tried to get a look at him. My attention was drawn back to Negan when his rough hand stroked my cheek gently. “Take her to my truck.” The man behind me nodded, as I was dragged away I heard Negan shout “Let's load up, time to go home!”. The next few minutes were a blur both figuratively and literally. I could see nothing, _nothing_! The blurry forms of many people moved to and fro from the liquor store and buildings nearby. I stumbled on rocks and uneven ground as I was forcefully pulled to a truck. “Stay in the truck” the man growled as he shoved me roughly into the vehicle and slammed the door. I waited, my almost useless eyes scanning the windows in hopes that I would be left alone long enough to slip away.

 

 

What would I do if I did get away, though? I had no weapons, no food, and no eyesight. I was well and truly fucked. I sighed and slumped in the passenger seat, tears welling in my eyes. I willed them not to fall, my desire to appear strong out weighing my desire to break down from the hopelessness crushing me. The driver side door opening startled me into alertness, my fuzzy gaze moving towards the man looming in the doorway. “Scoot over, Doll. We've gotta squish in here if we all want to fit. Wasn’t expecting to pick up a pretty girl on our little outing today. Must say, it's quite the haul we pulled in today” he rumbled. His body pressed up against mine and I swore he was crowding me on purpose. “if you want we can save space and you can sit in my lap” he patted his lap, the soft sound of his hand against his jeans punctuating the point he was making. I bit my tongue, trying to force down the sarcasm that threatened to escape. “Yeah. No thanks.” I growled, failing at hiding my disgust and anger. “Whatever you say, doll” he chuckled, his blurry form appearing to shrug.

 

 

On the longest drive of my life Negan informed me of the rules of his place. You've gotta work for points, the currency of this Dynasty. No points, no food. It was made _very_ clear that Negan didn't think I was worth much blind so he offered me a different option. One he claimed was 'the fucking best option’ which caused me to roll my eyes. I could be one of his wives. No working, no toiling. My only job was to be ready to fuck Negan at the drop of a hat. Like that was gonna happen. I reassured him that I was capable and happy to work for points but thanked him for his generosity in offering me the choice. I wanted to tell him to take his offer and his wives and shove them up his ass but I knew flattery was a better choice for me at this point. When he was done explaining things to me I turned my head towards the window next to me. As if it was a good enough excuse to not converse. Everyone in that truck knew damn well I couldn't see much past my own nose, meaning I was obviously avoiding the two men in the truck with me.

 

 

Half way through the drive Negan's hand inexplicably ended up on my thigh. I tried to move it but there was no room left in the truck to facilitate my escape. A low gruff laugh escaped Negan’s lips and he gripped my thigh painfully for a moment before relaxing his grip. “Sorry doll, but since you're in my spot I'm in need of an armrest. You just happen to be closest and the most comfortable” came his excuse. I managed to not roll my eyes at him and turned my attention back to the blur outside the window. Slow, lazy circles were being traced against my thigh, slowly traveling upwards. My breath hitched before I could stop it and I berated myself internally. Sure, the man's gravelly voice was like sex for my ears and his big bravado and cocksure attitude was entrancing. I had decided, though, that this asshole who had ruined my life in the span of five minutes would be the recipient of only glares and monosyllabic answers. Was it my fault that I hadn't been touched sensually by a man since before the dead began walking? No! My traitorous body was reacting to his slow, sensual assault on my body, his touch burning through my jeans to my skin beneath, without my permission leaving me wet and wanting.

 

 

I became alert when I heard the sounds of the truck slowing and a metallic clang of what I could only guess was the gates surrounding this community. My fear spiked, memories of the last 'community’ I had been a part of flooded my mind and left me panting and vibrating with terror. Negan noticed immediately and pulled me into his lap, straddling me in his lap and holding me to him in the tightest hug I’d ever received. “It’s okay little one” his voice rasped in my ear “I'll take care of you. Don't worry. The sanctuary is safe. I make sure of that myself.” I nodded, my fear vaguely distracted by his proximity and amazing scent. I took a deep breath and did my best to tamp down my visceral reaction to the sheer horror at the idea of a complex full of people that I didn't know and couldn’t even see.

 

 

In the blink of an eye I was sitting on my seat again, having been bodily moved by Negan, which shocked me. I was no small woman and he picked me up like I didn't weigh almost as much as, if not more than, him. I blinked a few times, trying to rid myself of the fuzziness of lust that was certainly _not_ fogging my mind. The door next to me was pulled open and I was yanked from the truck. I yelped in shock and turned my head towards the person manhandling me. I glared as best I could and yanked my arm from his grip. I opened my mouth to tell him off but I was cut off when he forced me to my knees, a position I was getting tired of, and demanded I stay still. I heard boots crunching across the ground and a dark laugh, one I was unfortunately familiar with. “Damn Rose” he drawled as he neared me “I just fuckin' love seeing you on your knees for me. Alright, Dwight here will show you around and get you to your room. You say you can work for points, so I'll let you try. If you get too hungry my offer stands.” Then he was gone and I was being hauled to my feet.

 

 

Dwight was anything but polite. His grip was so strong I was sure I’d have bruises and he lead me around the sanctuary talking about and pointing to things I damn well couldn't see. When we neared a stair well my heart was in my throat. Being in such a big building with no windows and no idea where the exits were was bothering more than I thought it would. My heart was pounding so hard, and my breaths so quick I thought I was going to pass out. It felt like the walls around me were closing in. “come on! Hurry up! I've got places to be” Dwight growled as he took the stairs at least two at a time. I felt my way up, being very careful lest I fall and crack my skull open. Dwight sighed as he stood at the top of the stairs and tapped his foot in impatience. On one hand I wanted to scream at the man that I was blind and that he could cut me some goddamn slack, but on the other hand did I really want to give away such a huge weak spot to anyone in this building? They could be trustworthy. They could help me and look after me, but they could also take advantage of me. I was drawn from my musings when Dwight grabbed my wrist and pulled me from the stairs, my foot caught on the last stair and sent me tumbling to the ground. I yelped when my forearms slammed into the concrete floor, followed by my face, since I couldn't tell the distance correctly. Liquid seeped from my nose, the metallic taste leaking into my mouth as I gasped for air. Dwight groaned and helped me into my feet. “Your room is just around the corner” he spoke, his voice softer than it had been, almost apologetic.

 

 

“Great. Thanks. Show me my damn room and then show me where the bathroom is. Then you can go do whatever it is that has you in such a fuckin' rush” I snarled and leveled an angry glare at him. He lead me around, slowly this time. He made sure I knew where everything was before he left. I was in luck, it seemed. My room was only a few doors down from the communal bathrooms and once I was without my chaperone I slipped into the bathroom to clean up what I suspected was a broken nose. The room was huge, if the echo was any indication of size. Just my luck, all the tiles were the same colour so there were no defining attributes to help me guess the different areas. I sighed and began my slow examination of the room. To the right I found lockers as well as a stack of clean towels. I grabbed one with my not bloodied hand and moved towards what I suspected were the showers. The showers were the kind that used to give me panic attacks in high school, basically a long wall of shower heads evenly spaced with no barrier between each one. I took a deep breath and stripped quickly, hoping to be finished before anyone came in. Showering naked with people was bad enough, but doing it without being able to see the people was a risk I wasn’t interested in taking.

 

 

My shower wasn’t as wonderful as I thought it would be because I didn't have soap and I realised half way through the shower that I also didn't have a change of clothes. My anxiety about showering blind in communal showers had distracted me from the fact that I didn't even have anything to change into afterwards. With a heavy sigh I hand washed my clothes, wringing them out as best I could before turning the shower off. I convinced myself that walking around in a towel wouldn't be the end of the world and padded to the bench I had left it folded on. My wet clothes slapped against the tile floor as they dropped in a heap next to my feet. I unfolded the towel and groaned when I realised it was going to be too short to wrap around my large body.

 

 

I dried quickly and attempted twice to wrap the towel around my large frame before I accepted the fact that I’d either have to wear the wet clothes, use a second towel, or streak to my room and hope no one saw. My last option left me in a fit of giggles and was immediately discarded. No way in hell I'd go through the halls naked **and** blind. Wearing the wet clothes wasn’t overly appealing as even the thought of the feel of wet clothes clinging to my body set my heart rate skyrocketing and made my skin feel too tight. That left only one option. I grabbed a second towel and wrapped them around my body, holding them in place with my arms, clutching the wet ball of clothes in my hands. Thankfully the trip to my room was quick and uneventful. I didn't see, or rather hear, anyone nearby so I figured I had gotten away with my dignity in tact.

 

 

I hung my dripping clothes in the little closet and placed the towels underneath then to soak up any excess water. No need to wreck my new room before I had even lived in it. With a sigh I flopped onto the bed reveling the way the satiny, clean sheets felt against my naked skin. I burrowed under the sheets and curled into a ball. Unconsciousness took me quickly, proof I had been over stressed and under rested. When I awoke I was suddenly aware that I was not alone. It was dark and I had no idea where the lamp was. My hand automatically reached out for my sword but it was nowhere to be found. “what do you want?!” I growled, my bravado only believable because we were in the depths of darkness. My breaths came in pants, my body shaking in terror as I realised I was defenseless and alone with someone in my room.

 

 

“Just checking up on you, Doll” a familiar gruff voice floated through the darkness. He clicked on the lamp and his hulking form was outlined in the soft glow it created. He sat on the edge of my bed and purred seductively “Looks like you got real comfortable, real fast.” And I knew instinctively that he could tell I was naked under the suddenly insufficient blankets. My heart pounded for a different reason as I felt his hand trace up from my knee to my hip, the thin fabric between his skin and mine doing nothing to stop the tingling his touch left in its wake. I turned my eyes to his face and my breath hitched audibly as I finally got a good look of his face. There was a shit eating grin spread across his tanned visage. Five o'clock shadow spread across his face in a smattering of black and white. His dark hair was slicked back and combed to perfection. Of course he was fucking gorgeous.


	2. Toiling away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> My first day at the sanctuary doesn't go the way I thought it was going to, but then again what do I expect from a large community?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just so you know, my phone is a POS and had multiple issues. One major issue is that the keyboard software doesn't work quite right anymore so if you see random letters or words that make no sense it's because my phone will randomly 'autocorrect' perfectly good words to random gobbledygook. If you see one I missed feel free to let me know.

The silence was deafening. I refused to speak, knowing that my voice would betray my incredible arousal and I got the feeling Negan wasn't speaking in an attempt to force my hand. What he didn't know was that I was as stubborn as they came. Minutes stretched by, our eyes locked. Negan's tongue slowly moved across his lower lip and my eyes followed without my permission. I wondered just what he could do with that tongue of his. With multiple wives he had to at least be a decent lay, giving his partner pleasure before his own. Shit, what was I kidding? He exuded dominance in spades. He was sexy as fuck and he knew it.

 

I gritted my teeth and flopped back onto my bed. Again I refused to speak, even though I wanted to tell him he needed to leave. I knew speaking to him wouldn't change a thing so I closed my eyes and slipped back to sleep. My dream was vivid but throughout the whole experience I had the strangest feeling of being safe and protected. The idea that I was anything but loved and safe didn't even cross my mind. 

 

As I slowly drifted back up into consciousness I became aware of the fact that I wasn't alone in my room. Negan sat on the opposite side of the room, speaking softly with another person. I allowed my body to float in the sleepy fog of waking from a deep sleep for a while before the fact that two men were in my room without my permission hit me like a ton of bricks. I sat upright immediately, clutching the sheets to my naked body and glaring towards the two dark blobs still talking about me like I wasn't in the room.

 

Negan noticed immediately, his voice raising in volume as if he didn't want me to know he had been quiet.  _Why the fuck would that matter?_ I wondered to myself as I felt the gaze of the other man land on me. I had never realized how I relied on my other senses when my glasses were off until now. I could hear the men clear as day, even though they had been whispering. I could smell the leather and musk of Negan and the faint chemical smell of the second man. "Get. Out." I growled through my bared teeth. Negan stood, then, with a tutting that would put any old lady's to shame. "Is that any way to talk to the man who saved your life? Most people would be fucking grateful to see a doctor. Hell, I've been begged before! Here you are with a house call and you're being mighty fucking rude!" He spoke, chastising me in a very effective way. As he spoke he slowly moved closer, his movements clearly precise and dangerous to me with almost no vision. "Naughty fucking girl" he growled in my ear, a statement only I could hear. I swallowed the lump in my throat, fought the shiver that was trying to run up my spine, and nodded. "Sorry" I whispered, my gaze falling into my lap as I felt my face heat in embarrassment. His proximity was dizzying, he consumed all of my thoughts. His hot breath was ghosting over the shell of my ear, the minty scent filling my nostrils.

 

I could have sworn I heard Negan's breath hitch, but I wasn't sure as the noise of the doctor walking to us made quite the racket. "I'm not an eye doctor but I'll take a look." He said to Negan then turned to me. "Please sit on the edge of the bed so I can do the examination". I could feel the blush creeping up my neck and into my cheeks and ears. What the fuck was I supposed to do? There was no way in hell I was just gonna sit on the edge of my bed naked in front of two men I didn't know. I briefly thought of asking for a short reprieve so I could get dressed but there was no way Negan would ever leave me alone so I took a deep breath and sat up, wrapping the top sheet around my body as I did.

 

The exam was embarrassing because I had to answer all the doctor's questions in front of Negan. Was I sexually active? Did I have any diseases? Have I ever been pregnant? When was my last period? Ugh! No one had cared about this shit for so long I forgot how embarrassing it was to answer such personal questions. The doctor was not gentle as he poked and prodded and I wondered if this was his normal bedside manner or if he was as nervous about Negan being two feet away as I was. When the horrible experience was over the doctor stood up and asked to speak to Negan outside. "Great" I grumbled out loud "I don't even get to fuckin' hear my own results. What am I? Two?" I stood quickly, walking to the wall closest and placing my hand on it to follow it to the closet where my clothes were hanging. I snatched them down and quickly slipped on my undergarments beneath the sheet dress I was currently wearing. 

 

As I dropped my sheet to pull on my pants and shirt I heard the door open. I froze for a moment, my wide unseeing eyes glued to the doorway, before quickly pulling my jeans on. I was just slipping my arms into my shirt when the smell of leather and musk hit me. "No need to hurry on my account, doll" Negan spoke suddenly from only a few inches away. His fast, silent movements shocking me to the core. "Um, no. Really. I need to get to work. Do you know what time it is?". Changing the subject was my forte, even before the world ended I could distract even the most focused person if I wanted to. His warm, minty breath fanned over my face again, a laugh escaping him. "It's almost 10:30, little girl. You're already late. You were supposed to be at the laundry room three and a half hours ago! I'll be surprised if they allow you to work at all today. Might not even let you back to work there at all" he stepped away as he spoke and I was eternally grateful. I slipped on my shirt and rushed towards the door, eager to leave. My hand connected with the handle and I felt the need to thank Negan for having the doctor come and visit me. After all I doubt most people here recieved such a kindness. Hell, for all I knew no one got to see the doctor but Negan himself. "Thanks for the doctor appointment, Negan" I said over my shoulder right before I rushed from the room. 

 

I took the stairs carefully, feeling unsure of the dark staircases and not wanting to hurt myself. I didn't remember where the exact room was but I followed my nose, the scent of laundry soap almost intoxicating. I was imagining wearing properly laundered clothing when I came across a large entranceway, the smell of laundry detergent wafting from it.

 

Of course the head of laundry was a massive bitch. I could tell she fuckin' hated from the moment I stumbled in. "I'm so sorry!" I said, my voice soft and apologetic "I don't have an alarm clock. This is my first day here. It won't happen again. I swear." The lady was in my space within a few second. Her fuzzy form showed her curly blonde hair and excessively tanned skin. Her face was pulled into a sour expression, though for all I knew that was her normal face. She looked down her nose at me and spoke to me in a very condescending way. "Since you saw fit to come late, you'll stay late to cover your missed hours or you will no longer be employed here. If you are late again, you will not be employed here. There are many people who would like the points and would love to work inside. 

 

 I nodded in understanding but was shocked when she just walked off without telling be how to do anything or where I was needed. I gritted my teeth and walked slowly towards the blurry form of what I hoped was a person. I could smell him before I could determine his form from the rest of the blurriness around him. He smelled clean, like soap and mint and his hair gel left a lingering scent. "Hey" I spoke softly, eyes trained to his tanned face "I'm new and I want to do my job but the boss here just scolded me and walked off without explaining anything to me or telling me where I was needed. Can you help me?" 

 

The man seemed shocked, though I couldn't see his facial features without getting freakishly close. His dark hair hung around his neck and swayed as he shook his head. "No problemo" he said in his deep accented voice. "She's a major bitch when she gets in a mood. Negan was down here earlier and it didn't go well. Needless to say she's in a pretty terrible mood. Here, follow me and I'll give you the tour and let you know what needs to be done. I'm Guillermo, by the way." Movement around his torso alerted me to his attempt at a handshake. I tensed but tried to smile and play it off "Rose" I offered and held my hand out in hopes he would make the connection for me. When his calloused hands touched mine I held back a relieved sigh. His handshake was firm but not painful, and that comforted me. My father used to say that you could tell the kind of person someone was based solely on their handshake. 

 

The day went by quickly. I tried to fudge my way through the tasks at hand but with very little vision I knew I wasn't doing as well as I could. As we worked, we talked. I learned a lot that I probably wouldn't have known otherwise. Breakfast was free, if you had points you could get something actually edible, but it was very early and if you missed it you were shit out of luck. There was no lunch served and no middle of the day break. Us poor bastards had to work all day with no breaks and no food. I also learned that Negan's wives were to be avoided at all costs. They were stuck up, rude, and entitled. They were even known to get people they didn't like in to trouble. 

 

I also learned that the higher up in the building you lived the more important you were. I kept my mouth shut about how many flights above ground floor I was and it was probably a wise move. Near the end of the day Guillermo touched my shoulder gently and whispered "Do you have issues seeing?" My breath caught in my throat and I froze in place. I could lie but the man had been working with me all day and I knew I wasn't getting every stain. Either I admitted to being handicapped or I let him think I was slovenly and unobservent. I almost went with the second choice but the thought of Gui thinking less of me bothered me more than I was willing to admit. "Fuck!" I hissed quietly "Yes, but please. Pleeeaaase don't tell anyone. I don't trust people and if they knew about this I could be targeted".

 

Even I could hear the desperation in my voice. He stood still for a few moments before nodding slowly. "Sí! Of course! I'll do my best to make sure your clothes are completely clean but the bitch, she can be harsh. Does Negan know? Why were you sent here?!" I slowly began washing again, doing my best to only speak when it was only me and Guillermo. "Yes he fucking knows. He was two feet away when his bastard of a henchmen stepped on and destroyed my glasses. I think he put me here to watch me suffer" I shrugged then and smirked "Not like I can't miss a few meals. Plus I like proving to someone that they can't break me." I knew I was big talk and no action but that had to change pretty soon. Guillermo's silence said he probably thought similar. Apparently no one won a game of hard-headedness against Negan. I was ready to go toe to toe with the reigning champ, though.

 

When it was dinner time everyone began filling out. "You coming, Rose?" Gui asked and I shook my head. "Nah, gotta stay here and make up for my tardiness. Don't have any points for food anyways. I'll see you tomorrow!" When everyone was gone I continued to clean. The only sounds were the splashing of my wet clothes in the water and the occasional yell that floated from the mess hall. I wasn't sure how many hours passed with me scouring white linens in the world's hottest water. My hands hurt, the skin bright red and throbbing. When I heard footsteps enter the laundry room I turned my head towards the noise. "Yes?" I asked in my most authoritive voice I could muster. 

 

The combat boots stopped at least fifteen feet away from me and silence enveloped us. "If you need the boss she's currently enjoying tonight's dinner in the mess hall. Feel free to track her down there." With that I turned around and went back to scrubbing, effectively dismissing my visitor. The steps started moving, but they were coming closer not going further away. I growled and stood, doing my best to look as big and scary as I could. His low chuckle sent shivers down my spine. Immediately I knew two things. First was that this person wasn't Negan just being a dick. Second was that I was in danger and needed to get away. I tried to keep a straight face. I had no practice in pretending that I wasn't scared when I was. The biters never seemed to care about my facial expressions. "Look, I'll check in her office and see if she's there. Okay? But if I get in trouble you fuckin' owe me. ¿Comprendé?"

 

I moved quickly, my breaths suddenly coming out in pants. I had no idea if he was following or not and looking back wasn't going to actually help so I kept on with my mission. The struggle to keep my movement slow and steady was monumental. I wanted to dart towards the large entrance to the hallway and fling myself towards the dining hall. The manager's office was right next to the hallway so once I got to that door my plan was to sprint away. My body was humming with adrenaline, and blood was rushing in my ears. My hand automatically reached for my sword but grasped at air. My panic surged I couldn't contain myself any longer. I burst into a run and darted towards the hallway.

 

Suddenly I was tackled to the ground, my large body bouncing slightly against the concrete. My neck snapped one way and then another, slamming my head into the floor with a resounding _**CRACK**_. A whimper escaped my lips and all the breath was drawn from my body. It felt like hours I laid there, gasping like a fish out of water. My eyes darted towards my attacker but they hit me hard across the cheek, sending my head bouncing off the floor again. "I don't want your boss. I want you, you fat little bitch" he sneered. I couldn't help the full body shake that was racking my body. This is exactly what I was avoiding by being on my own. Self entitied pricks laying claim to whatever they want, like dogs marking on trees in a park. My panic was rising. I could feel a warm liquid dropping down the side of my head and the man's body weight was impeding my ability to breathe, his fingers were tight around my throat. The blessed sound of boots in the hallway drew both of our attentions. I almost wept with joy! I could feel the man tense before he leaned down and whispered in my ear "Don't you fucking tell anyone about this or I'll kill you myself. You got that? I know you can't see. Poor little helpless girl, without her glasses. Well, don't worry. I'll keep you safe as long as you play along" then he stood abruptly and towered above me for a few more seconds before turning in his heel and leaving me sprawled across the floor. I stood slowly, hissing when my hand moved to my head and touched the tender area currently bleeding. 

 

I swallowed my pride and stumbled to my place to finish my washing. My head was pounding, my body felt off kilter. The room was spinning around me. My mind was blank as I worked, knowing I'd be mighty hungry if I lost this job. I wondered why I wasn't thinking about the incident. Normally I'd be angry, plotting the poor bastard's demise but the problem was I never got a look at him. I knew he had been in that group of Saviors that had picked me up that day but that wasn't saying much. I was sure there had been at least four trucks besides Negan's and while that didn't help much it did narrow down the number of people it could be. Belatedly I realised that I had finished my task at some point and had just been standing in the middle of the room. My brows scrunched together as I tried to figure out how the hell I got here and how long I had been done. A sudden feeling of nausea washed over me and I scrambled to the side of the room I knew held a large trashcan. I heaved into it, emptying what little I had in my stomach into the container. I spat into the trash can, trying to rid my mouth of the foul taste that was plaguing me, decided to head to my room. Fuck. Where was I? How did I even get back to my room? I groaned in frustration and began going up stairs. Maybe I'd remember as I went.

 

As luck would have it, I didn't remember but I ran into the doctor in a mad dash to a bathroom to vomit. Obviously he noticed the blood, which apparently was all over me and helped me into a stall and told me to sit and wait for his return. When he came back he dropped a large black bag near me, the sound echoing off the walls and hurting my ears. I whimpered and leaned over the porcelain bowl to heave once again. When I was finished I was handed a bottle of water and told to sip gently. "What happened?" The doctor asked as he dabbed at my head, removing some of the blood and having a look at the wound. "Who did this to you?" He tried again but I didn't respond. I didn't know and even if I tried there was a promise of being harmed more if I did spill my guts.

 

"Dunno" was my response. I was proud that I had opened my mouth and spoke words instead of vomiting. The doctor checked me out. Shining a bright light in my eyes and pressing around the wound. When I was finished throwing up I stood, with his assistance, and walked out of the bathroom. "Think you can help me to my room? I don't seem to remember how to get there" I asked, feeling helpless and embarrassed. The doctor agreed, of course, but spoke into a walkie talkie first. As we made our way up the steps I noticed my head was beginning to feel light and my vision was going dark. "Fuck" I slurred "gonna hafta stop". I managed to make it to the top of the stairs and into the hallway before my world went black. To my credit I was already trying to sit, knowing what was happening and trying to keep from banging my head again. In my fuzzy brain I was proud of myself in some small way for that.

 

I'm standing in the laundry room, the man that had attacked me laying on the ground and whimpering in pain. The blood dripped off of the blade clutched tightly in my hand. He whimpered his apologies, his stale breath ghosting over my face as I moved to slit his throat. I can see the horror written over his face clearly. His eyes begging for sympathy and benevolence he won't find. As I move my weapon across his throat, he gurgles as his life force escapes quickly and pools around his now grey body. To be sure I won't be seeing him again I stab through his orbital socket, knowing his skull was much too strong to pierce easily. 

 

I jerked awake, bolting up right and scanning the fuzzy room around me. The longer I sat there the more something felt wrong. This wasn't my room. What the hell was I doing waking up from a horrific dream if I wasn't in my room? The smell that surrounded me gave away immediately where I was. There was no mistaking the scent of sanitiser. No matter how fucked the world was it seemed all hospitals smelled the same. When I heard voices approaching I laid back and closed my eyes, an action my pounding head readily approved of. "I'm not sure how bad it is until she becomes conscious. It could be five minutes from now or it could be weeks or months. With the fracture she sustained she must have considerable brain swelling." The doctor was saying, and I wondered to who for only a few seconds before the gruff string of curse words followed. Only one man could curse that much and I honestly didn't know why he cared so much. "At least tell me you know who fuckin' did this to her! Tell me I can at least get revenge and make sure she's safe as she recovers." Negan growled and I could imagine him swinging his frightening bat around, playing hide and seek with my attacker in a game of cat and mouse he was sure he wouldn't lose. A strange and frankly inappropriate desire to laugh bubbled up within me and I couldn't seem to stop it. The hysterical laugh burst forth and made at least one of the men jump, and I'm betting it wasn't Negan.

 

"You awake, Rose?" Negan asked and took a few steps towards me. Now that he was closer I could smell the musk and leather that almost always surrounded him. "Unfortunately" I responded once I got my chuckles under control. "How are you feeling?" The doctor questioned, switching from terrified man to professional in a matter of seconds. I groaned and opened my eyes, which I quickly regretted. My hands quickly shielded my eyes, a whimper of pain escaping me unbidden. "Negan, I'm going to have to ask you to leave. I need to examine her and possibly establish an IV to medicate and sedate her." Doctor said as he bustled about the room essentially dismissing the leader of this commune. When I heard a chair scrape across the floor I knew Negan was refusing to leave. "Shit, I won't be in your way. Scout's fuckin' honour".

 

I don't remember much of the exam. There was a bright light in my eyes and the doctor was asking me questions then suddenly I was laying in the bed with an IV hooked up and no doctor in sight. My brows furrowed and I heard someone stand up and make their way to me. The silence made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. The power and presence rolling off the person was almost suffocating. Immediately my heart rate sped up, my body screaming at me to run. "Easy there, doll" Negan's voice, strangely soft, floated over me and relaxed me in a way I didn't want to examine too closely "it's just me. You remember me?" The question seemed stupid. Of course I remembered him. Kind of hard to forget a guy like Negan, but my mischievousness sparked and had me answering before I had actually given the words thought. "No!" I exclaimed "Who are you?! Why am I here?" I heard him blow out a very controlled breath, though it felt like his anger only grew. I could feel the man's tension from my place across the room.

 

Once again my laughter came bursting out without my permission. I heard Negan growl and suddenly he was so close to me I could see his face clearly. "Don't fuck with me right now, Rose. I'm in one seriously bad fucking mood and I'd advise you against pissing me the fuck off right now. Understand?" His low voice sent shivers down my spine and I watched as his eyes sparkled and his tongue dance across his lower lip provocatively. The whimper I heard was **not** from me. I hadn't given my body permission to betray me. I watched Negan tuck his tongue into his cheek and regard me closely before huffing out a laugh and walking a few steps away. "Tell me what happened" he demanded. Immediately the color drained from my face and the raging heat in my belly evaporated. "I don't know" I tried to keep my voice steady, but I knew he wouldn't take that answer. 

 

I heard his wooden bat knock softly against the floor before he spoke again, harsher this time. "That's fuckin' bullshit. You tell me what the fuck happened or I'll find a way to get it out of you." and my mouth opened to respond but he cut me off "Before you answer you should know that I'm very creative with my torture. Take the easy way, doll. You won't like the hard way". I grumbled softly, falling back into the bed and wincing in pain when my head bounced off of the pillow. "I was attacked" I said softly, wishing didn't have to relive it, "He. The guy walked into the laundry room. I was alone because I had to make up for the hours I missed in the morning because I won't want to go without food for a few weeks while I get another job. He stood behind me and didn't talk. I tried to engage him and then when I realised he was intimidating me on purpose, and that it wasn't you, I tried to run. Fuck! If I had a weapon on me I could have run him off." I stopped here, pulling at the hair I could reach above the bandage I didn't know was there. "He tackled me to the ground. Said he knew I couldn't see. That I needed to be taken care of and that he'd do that if I was a good girl. He didn't let me look at him when he was squishing me on the concrete. He knows, Negan! If he knows other people could know. They'll want to take advantage of me. They'll want to claim me. I'm not fucking going through that again. I refuse. This is why I don't like communities, Negan. This is why I wanted to leave and not come with you!" At some point my voice had turned to a wail, tears streaming down my face as I pulled painfully on my hair. The pain was grounding me. It helped me focus so I pulled harder, grinding my teeth in desperation and pain. I watched as Negan paced the length of the room from my folded position on the bed. My tears pooled under my cheek, my body folded in on itself as I wretched harder on my hair. Negan called the doctor and they spoke out of my sight for a while before I felt a warmth spreading up from the IV. My limbs became heavy, my grip on my hair loosening as my breathing calmed. The tears slowed and stopped as my brain began to shut off. I blinked slowly, my eyes scanning the shapes of the room in front of me. "Don't worry, doll" an angelic voice said from above me "I'll protect you". I mumbled, frustrated with my mouth not working like it should. "Don't tell. He'll hurt me if he knows" I whimpered, embarrassed by my obvious weakness. A large, rough hand stroked my face and down to my throat, lingering there as if he were soothing a specific pain. "Don't worry, Rose. You're mine. I'll keep you safe." His voice was floating above me, his touch sending my floating body deeper into the suffocating relaxation that was spreading with each sluggish beat of my heart. 

**Author's Note:**

> Like it? Hate it? Let me know your thoughts.
> 
> No promises on updates as depression and life have a way of kicking me when I'm already down


End file.
